The New York Times (2008) explored the weakness of self-report surveys in the study of extramarital sex yesterday, in an article that examined inconsistencies in the "adultery gap." More men than women typically report that they have had extramarital sex, according to the General Social Survey, which has polled men and women about their sex lives since 1972. The NYT article quotes David C. Atkins*: if "you start looking at specific gender and age cohorts, we do start to see some pretty significant changes" in infidelity reporting. The article points out that women report higher numbers in anonymous surveys than face-to-face, suggesting that they are lying to fit a social standard.
The tendency for women to lie about their sex lives, due to the sexual double standard, was explored in a NYT article last year as well (see 8/13/07), which suggested that average sexual partners between men and women should be similar, mathematically speaking.
So, I think I've figured out my problem with this topic. Last August, when the NYT published the "mathematical proof" that women were lying about their sexual histories, I reacted pretty strongly. Strongly enough, in fact, that a mathematics blog listed me among bloggers getting their "panties into a knot" over it. I've been thinking about it, and you know: that's fair. I do get my panties into a knot over it, because it seems to always be presented as women lying to get their sexual numbers down. There doesn't seem to be much mention of men lying to increase their numbers, which seems just as likely to me as the converse.
*supposedly at the Center for the Study of Health and Risk Behaviors, but not listed on their website
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8 comments:
Dear press:
Please stop assuming that people who have sex with someone other then the person they are married to are being unfaithful or cheating.
Thank you.
[info]pants_of_doom
2008-10-28 06:47 pm UTC (link) Track This
I always figured that either someone was lying or that men are having a lot of sex with other men.
@pantsofdoom:
I suspect that everyone is lying or mistaken -- and that there's some sex with men going on, although that's probably small enough to fall into "noise"
adsero_belua
2008-10-29 12:29 pm UTC (link) Track This
I agree that it is just as likely that men are inflating their numbers... I did a survey for my Human Sexuality class years ago, and one of the young adult male surveys said he had slept with over 100 women... Really? I highly doubt it, maybe in his dreams lol.
Well, I think the argument about men lying is that they are not changing their numbers as much between survey formats. Womens numbers are lowest face-to-face, slightly higher on telephone surveys, and even higher on computer surveys (most anonymous). I think it's more a sign that women are more easily cowed in interactions than that men are more honest.
@ bitsy:
Huh? It's not an arbitrary assumption; it's tightly woven into the societal, historical, emotional, spiritual, moral, and legal fabric of what it means to be married. So I think that it's a fair starting point.
@ Zanshin:
I think what bitsy's getting at is that there are sometimes circumstances where non-monogamy isn't cheating, even in marriage.
Personally, I think that a significant percentage (maybe 5-10%, at a guess) of marriages probably have at least one instance of consensual non-monogamy (threesomes, swinging, other experimentation) but I also think that generally speaking - it's usually cheating.
[info]piterburg
2008-10-29 07:32 pm UTC (link) Track This
//I think that a significant percentage (maybe 5-10%, at a guess) of marriages probably have at least one instance of consensual non-monogamy (threesomes, swinging, other experimentation)//
I think you are right.
piterburg
2008-10-29 07:14 pm UTC (link) Track This
I know from personal experience that both men and women lie about the number of partners - in the opposite directions..;-) However, the same experience leads me to suggestion that women lie more, the reason being that for a woman the penalty of being perceived as a "slut" is very heavy indeed.
piterburg
2008-10-29 07:30 pm UTC (link) Track This
//slept with over 100 women... Really? I highly doubt it, maybe in his dreams lol//
Doubtlessly that men brag and lie about their sexual conquests (you only need to listen to locker room talk), however, I personally have a few close friends and acquaintances who slept with over 100 women.
On the other hand I also have some female friends who've slept with over 100 men and trusted me enough to share their sexual histories.
If you actually look at these numbers - if you are actively dating and changing your partner once in five weeks, you accumulate 100 partners in a decade.
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