In contrast, note an article from May in The Guardian (2008) about single motherhood in Iceland, which bears so little stigma that Icelanders elected a single mother to the presidency 28 years ago. The Guardian article draws the distinction that women are choosing to bear children at 21 or 22 - not as teenagers.
I'm probably a bad person, but I feel really sorry for the "24-year-old homeless guy" who supposedly fathered at least one of the Gloucester pregnancies. I probably shouldn't, but considering the press, it seems like people are really looking for somewhere to lay the blame, and he looks like a likely scapegoat.
I feel like I should be at least partially in favor of the girls' choice. They chose when and how to get pregnant. They chose to bear the children. They built a support network to help them through it. These seem like good things. On the other hand, there are few choices made by anyone (but teens especially) where I don't question the motives:
TIME Magazine, 6/18/08: "Amanda Ireland, who graduated from Gloucester High on June 8, thinks she knows why these girls wanted to get pregnant. Ireland, 18, gave birth her freshman year and says some of her now pregnant schoolmates regularly approached her in the hall, remarking how lucky she was to have a baby. "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Ireland says. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."Thanks to Patrissimo for pointing out the Guardian/Iceland article, and to Scixual for pointing out TIME's take on the Gloucester story.
EDIT, 6/23/08: Mayor: No evidence pregnancy pact is real
Posts
10 comments:
Much though I like to respect personal choice and feel like children should be taken seriously as persons, 15 or 16 is too young to be making lifelong, life-changing major decisions that you can’t back out of.
(Copying to blogger.)
I concur with beowabbit. It's hard to know where to draw the line with trusting the judgement of a teenager (or I suppose, Dan4th would argue, of anyone). I always hear this factoid thrown around that people's brains aren't fully developed until they are 25. Of course, other than for rental cars for men...no one seems to factor that in to most age-related social laws or practices.
I struggle a great deal with the seeming trend of transguys transitioning earlier and earlier. On the one hand, I think it's great for folks to be able to become true to themselves at a younger age. On the other hand, I worry that they are deciding to transition for the wrong reasons, and may regret it someday. Few people feel like they fit in as teens...and making life decisions based on that feeling seems dangerous. But...I knew I was "gay" from about age 11...and have never waivered really. I didn't come out until I was 21, though. It's so hard to know what is real and what is fantasy often...but particularly at a young age.
"(or I suppose, Dan4th would argue, of anyone)"
Is my cynicism that obvious? Good!
Honestly, I've given it a lot of thought, and I think I owe a good part of my current position on young guys transitioning to a friend on LJ, who pointed out that transition SHOULDN'T be a big, life-changing deal, and that withholding treatment from (for example) 1,000 kids in order to protect (let's say) 10 kids who maybe would change their minds is kind of unfair and evil.
I can go with the 10 out of 1,000 argument...but "transition shouldn't be a big deal"?
I don't see any way of getting around that transition is a big deal. It's a huge physical and social change no matter what the circumstance.
It wouldn't be a big deal if gender roles weren't such a big deal - if gender weren't considered immutable and monolithic. (bilithic?)
Even if transition weren't a big deal socially, it still seems like a big deal physically.
And anyway...it seems like many trans people feel it's a big deal...or else there wouldn't be thousands of transition diaries on the web. Possible teen danger here: transition as a way to get attention. I'm not saying it's really that common...but I think it happens. I don't think pregnancy pacts are that common either, but obviously they happen too.
And anyway...if gender roles weren't such a big deal to begin with...would people even feel the NEED to transition. If gender means nothing...then what difference does it make which gender you are?
1. Big deal physically: In terms of age-appropriate care, not really. Delaying the onset of puberty doesn't seem like a huge deal, and would prevent the necessity of as much "big deal" surgery later in life.
2. "It *is* a big deal": In our current society, yes. I'm saying that the goal should be to make it less so.
3. Transition to get attention: This is the 10 and 10,000 argument again. Is it more important to protect the kid who makes a bad decision to get attention, or treat the kid who knows what they need? Also, if transition weren't such a show-stopping big deal (see point #2) it would be a lousy way to get attention.
4. Need for transition in a genderless society: Do I think there would still be trannies in a world where everyone defined their gender on a personal basis? Yes. Do I think there would be fewer trannies when there were more gender options? Yes.
Although: the entire transsexual-treatment-early issue does seem like a derailing tangent on the becoming-pregnant-early issue, and I probably should have gotten it back on track three comments ago. It's a separate issue, and here's why:
Transition affects *only* the person transitioning.
Pregnancy affects the parent, the child, and society.
But the main point of posting about this (I realized Saturday morning that I'd never gotten around to tying this to gender differences) was that this is about women choosing when they will become pregnant - which is pretty freaking awesome that they *can* do, even if they're making what looks like the wrong decision.
@m_big_mistake: I just realized I should point out Tim Chevalier's "What Price Normalcy?" (2007) essay, about how harmful it is to make kids wait until after puberty to transition.
I was going to shut up because we were, as you rightly stated, derailing the original topic...but since you posted again I will too.
I totally get that many, many people would benefit from transitioning earlier and that early transition may, in fact, make the entire process easier both socially and physically. I'm not saying that it isn't the right choice for some people. I'm just saying that I don't know at what age a person is capable of knowing. For some people...it may be at birth...and others may never know for sure what the right thing to do is.
What I CAN say is that, had I been offered transition at any age up to about age 11...I would have done it immediately. I don't know what I would have done age 11 up to recently. And now, I think I'm glad that I never had the option and I don't think that I ever WILL transition. That certainly isn't true for everyone.
I just think that, sometimes people jump to a "solution" to discomfort in life rather than working through the discomfort. There is a great deal of pressure on teenagers to be loved or to fit in...or to get attention of any kind. Whether or not transition "should" be a big deal, I think transition is a big decision that might be taken lightly by a teenager or very young person.
Ultimately, I think people should be allowed to control their own bodies, so I'd err on the side of allowing kids early transition. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't still concern me a little.
I also think that there are many, many ways to express gender that don't involve medical transition.
I doubt that I can convince you of my way of thinking, and I don't need to. It's just my opinion.
Post a Comment